Hurt me, I'm an attention whore.

So I haven't posted in a while. Blow me.
You haven't read my posts. Why not? I'm so good. My total of 5 people who read these shall be thanked by me when hell freezes over. You should be thanking me for enlightening you. I wont justify my absence, think as you will.

Believe it or not, I do have better things to pretend to be doing. Keep in mind of my laziness, I use the spite of Callous & Seabird to drive me(and to steal their ideas). Mr. Callous has reminded me that I too must establish a rota with myself. Which I will disregard.
I will make posts as often as I exercised in the past few months. I'll let you figure out that one.

So much for a new post! You just talked about it. Didn't even make an effort. Now watch this.

Sock, shoes, laces, soles, shoe box. You know that silica desiccant you get from new shoes? Or things of the like. Looks like a packet of sugar. Terrible substitute. Unless you're making a cuppa tea for someone that isn't you. Definitely a good idea. Unlike starting a blog without a clue and relying on your sub-conscious for creative ability.

Sorry for the horribly frequent/inconsistent paragraphs. No. I think I've already said this. If not, Deja Vú. Deja Vú is a funny thing. You might often get that if you watch Family Guy. Either that, or you finally realise that they recycle everything that was slightly humourous in it many times before "Friends" had even got to it.
"Oh no Joey, you've said something irrelevant to distract us from the fact that there was a serious moment for far too long (possibly past the standard users attention span) and now you have a turkey on your head!"
"Ah Chandler, are you saying another terrible penguin bar-esque joke/pun which we frown on so we can look like our sense of humour isn't equally stupid?"
Of course you are, you filth ridden, self ridiculing prick! If this series wasn't the only option for a desperate pubescent male to have a wank in the afternoon over something that resembles a female when tennis isn't on, then it wouldn't have left the studio. At least the series is over and we have nothing to worry about anymo....Desperate Housewives.

Oh dear. I haven't watched enough of it to have adequate material to collectively drop-kick all the producers of it with my neck of insults. You don't believe I can drop-kick a group of people at once with my neck? Foolish.
Although, I do know enough to cover the basics. They're not very desperate, are they? Are they horrible people? Yes. The ginger has a large forehead and is the least attractive one, next to the blonde who mopes the whole time. Given that they're so old, I'm not sure why that conversation comes up so often. Madonna and Uma Thermin don't get that kind of reception.

As a reader of my blogs, you also get homework.

Homework: Fuck off.

And don't forget. I'm great.