A Perfectly Terrible World

*Read this incredibly fast. If possible. Drink several cups of coffee beforehand.(Seriously) Otherwise you may not get into the full swing of this.


I can dream...

If people weren't ejaculating joy everywhere. Instead of nightclubs, people went to large coffee houses. Not cafes. Coffee is as cheap as the conversation. Everyone packed into these like sardines. Scalding each other with Child Labours finest blend.
Their collective breath becomes intolerable, and people become intoxicated by lack of oxygen.
Falling on the floor, prey to spillage. Defenseless, they wrap themselves in tea bags. Dreaming of better times.
All the while, the people on the top, holding the mugs or tiny latte cups, are twitching into each other like bees attacking hornets. Warming the weaker of them to the point where they explode.
The remains are tripping over the previously thought prey. Now, ticking time bombs. The spilled caffeine has soaked into their skin. They emerge in a frenzy. The only music they hear is the screams of the others who are all having seizures.
Smashing mugs. Plates.
Dark chocolate biscuits. Filling the air. No-one.

No-one stood a chance!

Isn't that right, Mr.Irish-Tea!
Thinking it was milky coffee. The smell masked by others. Rich tea biscuits and all. Jameson hidden in his left pocket. His right. Tea bags.
The bastard.
He projectile vomits a watery-biscuit-like substance towards the crowd.
The defenseless cafe creatures wail in dismay. No match for the alcohol and tea man, they flee. Out the door. At once. They soon find crammed in the tiny doors. The surrounding shelves breaking. Explosions of leaflets and posters of French movies.

All the de-caf people in the background weeping. Espresso people are dancing on top of the weakened coffee drinkers.

A perfect little world where no-one likes eachother and everyone's really fucked off something. I forgot what I was on about. Fuck it.

You've wasted more time reading this. You'll read my next shit blog too. You pathetic bollocks.